Prayer Request

Please keep Theresa and her family in your thoughts and prayers.

 

5 Years Post Gastric Bypass

UPDATE: When u click on the link "Here" turn off the music on the side bar to view the video that is attached

Please click HERE to view my 100 Reasons to Loose 100 Pounds post from last year.

Yesterday embarked the 5 year birthday after having gastric bypass.

As I've said before, my journey hasn't' been easy. It has however been extremly worth it.

I have had weight gain. I have had more weight gain than I would actually like to admit. However, when all is said and done...I'm still so much healthier today than I was when I weighed over 300 lbs.

Patience, Empathy, and more needed...

I need some prayers on my behalf...

PATIENCE.
EMPATHY.
PATIENCE.
EMPATHY.

I can't really go in to details about why I am in need of the above patience and empathy and whatever else you might call it. Because, well this is the internet and well...it just is this way.

email me if you want specifics.

Right now...I just need some patience with someone in my life. (NOT a family member - aka, children or dh...)

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

(this is 2 weeks for me since we moved and I did not have internet access last Monday)

~When my 6 year old was rough housing in his bed with our dog and lost his tooth, I did not scold him for wrestling with the dog. Instead, I showed great concern and love for my blood filled childs face. And when I realized that our dog ate the tooth in question I seriously DID NOT begin laughing which ended in having to change my underwear. Nope, "not me"...

~While moving last weekend I did not think to myself 'come hell or high water I'm gonna get this blasted bin of balls in the back of this van" and in the proccess hurt my back. Nope, "not me"...I ask for help when I need it. I admit that I'm a wimp.

~I am a very cool and collected individual. I love children. Every child. Yep, I do. So when 2 children on my summer school route would not sit down and be quiet...I did not loose my temper and yell "For the love of God if you don't sit your @ss down and shut your mouth I am going to pull this bus over and make you drive home while I scream in your ears." Nope, "not me" I'm a very calm and collected bus driver of summer school children.

~I did not start crying at Six Flags Great America last week after getting a phone call from M_ Metro offering me a full time position. I did not let my 6 yr old drive the bumper cars while I was texting everyone I know telling them my wonderful news. Nope, "not me" my son is too short to drive the bumper cars. We would get hurt if I let him drive.

~I did not have to swallow my own vomit after riding a ride at Six Flags Great America. I have a very solid stomach and can handle anything. I did not think that the ride operator would kill me for puking since the ride had just been reopened because some other poor soul also vomited all over.. Nope, "not me.."

~The tooth fairy did not forget to take my sons tooth last night after he lost ANOTHER tooth wrestling with his sister on her bed (see a theme). Nope, the tooth fairy was to busy. The tooth fairy did not slip a $1 bill in between the bed and sheets of my sons bed during the middle of the day. My dh did not then show my BIL my sons bed only to find a $1 bill stuffed in between the 2 sheet and bed railing. My son did not think the tooth fairy is crazy for forgetting to take his tooth, leaving the money in a place that he would NOT look for...he does not believe that that the little girl that is living w/us scared the tooth fairy off, thus why the $1 was left somewhere else. I did not agree with his fabricated story. Nope, "not me"

~I did not gorge myself with 4 ears of corn this evening for supper, refuse to eat the chicken patties and tell my children that if they ddin't eat the corn that would be good because it would be more for me to eat. Nope, "not me"...I eat a well balanced meal every single day.

~I am not still in shock that the promotion to full time came much quickier than I thought it would....

What did you NOT do this week???

The CALL

~~finally came!!

I am so incredible excited and scared all at once.

I recevied the call I've been waiting for for a VERY long time yesterday while my family and I were at Six Flags Great America...

"Gala, are you still interested in going full time?"

HECK YA???  Why would I turn it down?  S'rsly...why?

I have been to hell and back w/this job the last year.  I truly have lived threw a hazing of sorts.  I've weathered the storm, been found worthy to advance!

There is so much more I want/need to say about this.  However, I've been busy. 

What better way to celebrate this new job promotion (trust me it is HUGE for me) than to be at Great America w/my family.  We were just about to get on the 2nd ride of the day when my dh's cell phone rang.  When he handed me the phone I nearly died.  I stood in line, screaming like a maniac that I am after I got off.  My daughter and dh knew....  James just smiling from ear to ear.  My in shock. Trying not to cry. 

I know it will not be fun and games. I know that the training for full time is just as intense as it was for full time.  However, in the end - life will be so much nicer.  The financial stabilty that this will bring to our family is enormous.  The health insurance...omgosh..the health insurance!!  100% PAID coverage after a $37.50 premium PER month!!  Currently, we have state health insurance. It is governered by how much $ my family makes. If I make to much I looose it or have a $150-200 copay.   State retirmenment and benies to the hill...

I'll write more later.  In the meantime, I am going to enjoy my family and last week home as a laid off part time employee for the City of M....  (I am working part time somewhere else since I was laid off a few weeks ago...)

:) Happy America Day

---

An Excellent Credit Score is 750. See Yours in Just 2 Easy Steps!

Kids Bowl 4 Free

I got this link this morning from a blog that I read KIDS BOWL FREE  ALL SUMMER long!!  2 games, every day, all summer long for EACH child!!

How cool is that!  You know I signed up for it. I'm contemplating spending the $24 and buying the adult version also for the entire summer. Not sure how much we would use it so I'm not sure if it is worth it or not. We'll have to see.

 

Before you sign up you have to see if there is a place in your area.  :o)

I'm sending this to basically everyone in my address (minus a few I know live in very remote areas) because if you don't have children, you might know of people who do that could use this.

 

Good Luck!

Gala

--
When I stand before God at the
end of my life I would hope that
I would have not a single bit of
talent left and could say,
"I used everything you gave me."
~Erma Bombeck

Interesting Article

I read this article wrote by Christine Stapelton who writes for the Psych Central Blog Net. Her blog is Depression on My Mind.

I could have wrote this blog post myself.

Even though I struggle with depression - sometimes more often than others. There are still things in my life that I'm happy for, about, with..ect ect ect....

I have 2 beautiful children. I have a roof over my head. I have a job. I may not like my job. I may be rather sarcastic somedays, I mean...everyday..but I'm generally a happy person.

I complain, muble, jumble through life. I have my ups and downs. I am still and will probably will be for sometime struggle with extreme guilt and grief over the loss of our son. There are days, like today even though the tears are just under the surface in regards to Cor...I know we did the best we could, with the rescources we had available...ect ect ect.... That doesn't change the fact that I still mourn, grieve, beat myself up...over what should have been. Plain.cut.simple.dry.

Often I think others think I am just a negative person. Sometimes, I am.

Today this article hit home. There are many days that I don't stand out. If you met me on the street you would probably never know, three years later am still stuggling a great deal over the turn of events in my life and how incredible big that void in my heart is. I can say that 99% of the Ward members in our current ward have no clue what happened in our family. They know that we (I) don't come to church very much. The assumtpions can be whatever it may be. I want to go. I don't want to go. I can't get myself to go. Because, sitting in Sacrament, Sunday School, Relief Society are all constant reminders that my eternal family....is no longer eternal.

There are questions I've asked about being sealed in the Temple to Cor and since he isn't our son anymore how does that work. The mission president wasn't able to answer that for me few months back when he came and met w/my dh and I. I'm tired of asking. So I just stay home...


Read the article...if you struggle with chronic or severe depression or any other mental health problems - read her blog. The psych central website is great and has many different intersting articles...

We're Moved and Thanks

First and foremost..thanks Christine for the bumble ball. We received it today.  I'll be muddling threw the boxes to find batteries.  I'll post more in a day or so when I can/am able to.  My internet is rather shabby right now.

The move was long, daunting, tiresome, painful, and well just plain hard.  Hard physically - to be expected. 

Hard in other ways. Hard in that not only was my bd on Saturday - Cor's was Sunday.  I have had a blog post in my head for sometime about "Cor's bd".  I didn't have internet access yesterday, was in to much pain to go to the library to write it, and well....emotionally just didn't need to go there. 

I could s'rsly use some prayers.  Life has taken its toll over the last several days/week.  To top it off I hurt my back on Saturday.  Lifting something that I had no business doing.  However, I had enough and wanted things DONE...NOW!  I hurt it, I felt it and am currently REALLY feeling it....I saw chiro today, will tmw...and hoping/praying for some relief...

SOOON!


More in a few days when I'm feelin' better...I hope.

---

An Excellent Credit Score is 750. See Yours in Just 2 Easy Steps!

Moving

We are moving tmw evening. I am not sure how long I will be w/o internet connection. I'm guessing till at least Tue. I think that is the soonest the company could come out. I am not 100% sure. My dh would know. He hasn't really said anything to me cuz' he knows I'll have a kiniption fit...

This might be good for me or not..

Blogger and Layout

I'm getting a tad frustrated with the stuff on my side bar disappearing. When I go into my lay-out it is there. Yet, some days when I log into my blog the stuff is gone. It is getting frustrating. If I could figure out how to make the Wordpress all pretty - I would change over to that one. ugh. I just still might do it.

Consider Yourself Warned

I'm Hot.
I'm Crabby.
I'm Hot.
I've mastered the art of the Capital letter B.

We are moving in 3 days.
I don't appreciate family members, that I don't care for, inviting themselves over to my house, on the hottest friggin day of the year, after I spent 5 hours STRAIGHT in a tin box brand new bus with NO FRIGGING air conditioning...

Consider yourself warned.....

I'm about to loose my cool.

THANK YOU

I owe a HUGE...HUGE..Thank You to Sarah!

 

A few nights ago after going in and out in the rain searching for a BUMBLE BALL I send an email out to some folks that I thought may or may not happen to have a bumble ball laying around their house, be out and about and see one...

 

Low and Behold Sweet Sarah...posted my request on her blog.  I was going to do the same on my blog but needed to re-word the request.  The last few days have been crazy busy. After Mr. Mailman came yesterday we took the kids to "Little Amerikka".  It was a blast.  They have safe and fun carnival rides. Nothing like Great America but something a tad cheaper and well...TONS of fun for our children.  Because my dh and the little gal we do respite for (who is now living w/us 5 out of 7 days a week) can't go on all of the rides I really liked this place since we could buy 'less expensive' bands.  My thoughts/plans were to post this last night.  It didnt' happen. I got home and was dog tired after chasing 3 kids all over the park, riding rides, having my leg get caught in the Rocket/Bullet ride and well...that is another hole post in and of itself. 

 

Then this morning I had to work ( I didn't realize it was Sunday when I volunteered. I thought I was volunteering for Saturday.)  Oh' well...it was fun and I can use the extra cash right now. 

Regardless, my heart felt so incredible blessed to read 2 different emails from Sarah of people who are willing to pass on their bumble balls.  I know that N will truly love this. Not only will she love it but it will bring MANY hours of entertainment for her. Her momma sent a back massager that vibrates.  She literally wore out the  batteries for it this week. (Now..I do believe that my 6 yr old who has significant sensory proccessing issues - was also part of just sitting and holding that massager.)  So not only will the little gal we are doing respite for get use out of it - so will my son.

 

Sarah....you can't know how incredible blessed I felt when I read your post. 

This is what the blog world is for. My dh might shun me, he might get mad at times.....but it isn't all bad!!  It is mostly good!!

Love Ya!! 

--
When I stand before God at the
end of my life I would hope that
I would have not a single bit of
talent left and could say,
"I used everything you gave me."
~Erma Bombeck

Favorite Foto Friday

Finding peace admist the storm sometimes isn't easy. Today, these photos bring peace to my heart.

Beautiful creatures, created by mankind and more importantly our Father in Heaven.

Red Flower: Lobster Tail Flower

Yellow Flower: Lollipop Flower

What do you seen when you look at this picture?

Right now this picture kind of describes how I'm feeling.

The things in my life that are right in front of me are in focus. Sometimes, to much focus.

The things in my life that are further away and more distant are incredible out of focus. Sometimes, way out of focus.

Right now I'm having a really hard time keeping the parts of my life that are not smack dab right in front of me in focus.

What you might not know about this picture is...

When it was taken I was trying to blur out that leaf. I wanted to focus on my children who were further away. However, I didn't do something right (btw...still not sure how to change that problem).

I've taken little breaks before. However, I think I need and will be taking a bit of a break again. I need to try and refocus myself over the next few weeks. I've been in a really good space over the last few weeks/month. However, as Cor's birthday creeps up (aka my birthday) I can feel myself loosing focus. The pain and anger is far to raw somedays. Some might say "you need to find a good therapist..." Save your breath. I have one. Some might say "you need to find a new therapist..." Not happening. There is nothing that a therapist or anyone can do to take away the guilt and pain and anger....

I've lost focus over the last day or so...really, really fast.....

Until I'm able to regain my composure and focus....you may only see a picture or two....or not...

Wordless Wednesday

My Bithday.....His Birthday

As a new mother of a newly adopted bright eyed, blonde and full of life 4 yr old....

I thought it was very cool that my new son and I shared birthdays.

Now nearly 11 years later...

I think the whole birthday sharing is a piece of crap and it truly brings a great deal of heart ache and a great deal of saddness.  
 

---

Make your summer sizzle with fast and easy recipes for the grill.

Crazyland IPOD Giveaway

Crazyland: IPOD giveaway.

Check the link above out to win an IPOD Shuffle!! :)

Heaven Help Me

It is 2 days after the start of summer break.

The pre-pubescent (sp) 9 year old who lives in my home....

is going to wish that she changed her attitude, eye rolling, huffing and puffing, stomping her feet friggin attitude QUICKLY!!

Thank the good heavens above that she will be hoome this next week and then be GONE for 6 days and then home for 2 weeks and GONE for 6 days!! I'm praying for this childs change in attitude quickly!

Such a Lovely Child

It is truly a good thing that I love this child. Truly love him. I nearly had to duct tape his little brain and lips shut today. Oh' how I love the honesty of young children. Not.

Shortly after arriving to a psychologist appt, said child crawling over the seats like the monkey that he is, truly being himself..the following transpired.

Bry: ~~~~~~~~BELCH~~~~~~~~~~~~

ME: Nice Bry. Why don't u tell Dr. C what happens in our household when you purposely belch like that.

Bry: Uh...I dunno...

ME: Sure you do. We discuss this often.

Bry: acts like he doesn't have a clue as to what language I'm speaking.

A few more things transpire.

Me: Dr. C in our home, when children purposely belch and dont excuse themself they are no longer permitted to have soda for that day..possible even longer.

To bad for Bry because we were going to be ordering dinner, we have root beer left over and well...he doens't get any more soda (he hadn't had any to begin with) for today.

THEN he said it....I nearly had to duct tape his mouth shut~~~

Bry: Well, at least I dont' have a problem with (insert massive pronunciation) FARTING now do I!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: Uh...no you don't. Dr. C, my dh and I have both had WLS...we both struggle with uncontrollable gas quite often.

Dr. C is trying not to wet himself from laughing. He graciously held it in.

Bryant continues to crack it up. Over.And.Over.And.Over. I nearly had to wack him up side the back of the head. (not really just think about it).

Me: Bry this isnt' appropriate it to discuss.
Bry: WELLLL least I'm not the one that smells like I pooped my pants. Like last night. Our house smelled like dog poop....and it was YOU. You smell worse than Grandma and she can't help her farts she can't smell!!!

Oh my freekin word I nearly had to hurt him. S'rsly folks....

When we left I mentioned that there are something that are not to be talked about in public. Farting is one of them. He proceeded to tell me I smell like I pooped my pants and that isn't very nice either....

So in his 6 yr old brain - farting and belching are the same. Even though mommy rarely ever farts in front of anyone and usually doesn't have bad spells that often. He seems to think that it is the same.

Lovely child of mine...

Very Long 30-60 Seconds

On Sunday my daughter and I took a lil drive to my parents home about an hour and half away. From there my mom, Abi and I drove another 40 minutes to a coworker of my moms.

This family has a horse ranch. I don't know exactly how many horses they have. They have a large riding arena. The deal/thought was that my daughter would get to ride the horses after I took their family pics.

Ab was going to ride one of the more tame horses. However, we were running bit low on time and so we decided she could ride one of the 2 already saddled up.

After about 30+ minutes or so we were just wrapping up to go.

The husband starts yelling "Cutie...get her off....Cutie...GET HER OFF....the cows are coming...the cows are coming.....GET.HER.OFF!!"

After about 30 seconds of that the horse starts to take off, Ab still on the horse. "Cutie" did not hear her husband yelling. As the horse starts to pick up speed, Cutie grabs the reins...only she misses, trips over the horses leg and her own boots...flat on her face she went~

Her husband went running, I turned my head and yelled a few things I will not repeat. This momma could not LOOK. I couldn't watch my baby, on a horse (that has a history of not being the nicest)...couldn't.

Less than a minute later I hear my daughter screaming...'WHHHHOOOOAAA WHHHHOOOOAAAAA......ect ect" and then you hear the horse actually...STOP.DEAD.IN.HIS.TRACKS!!

I kid you not the dust and dirt that went flying (she was an equiv of a city block away) came flying towards us. I look at my daughters face thinking "she is going to be scared for life...she will never get on another horse again". Only to see her LAUGHING!!

Ab and Cutie right before the horse took off


Alls well that ends well!!


The rodeo cows came running up the valley and spooked the horse...thus why he took off. It was a very long, scary minute. Let me tell you. The couple felt horrible and said they were sooo sorry over and over. My philosophy...chit happens. You know...that is the risk that you take getting on a horse. It is just LIFE. And even if she would have got hurt....I would have felt bad. I would have not been mad. It is just what it is....Life.

The Lord was watching out for Cutie (she didn't' get hurt when she fell) and for my daughter!!! That is for sure!